Tears of sorrow

  I've not posted for a long time and I've been absent from SL. I hope to change both of those things. My apologies to those who feel neglected.  I've missed my friends and exploring.
 
Don't read past the picture, if it bothers you to read things that don't pertain to SL.

  Last week, I learned of my uncle's death.  My tears started before the phone call ended. I had to know... Why was I crying for a person that was a source of frustration, pain, anguish in my life?  Oh, the stories I could tell...  But I won't dwell on those right now.  I can simply say I was curious about him at first. Eventually, over the years of exposure, my thoughts changed to disdain for this man, which turned to pity and sometimes compassion within our long time of knowing each other.  This tumultuous relationship of ours is significant to who I am today. I believe, the people who are in our lives leave marks into our soul.  The experiences both good and bad alter the thought process and reactions we have.
  After some research, I found that ... Scientists studying tears of emotion have detected a chemical that cannot be found in tears from irritants - it seems that simply by weeping we produce tiny amounts of a natural painkiller [leucine enkephalin] that hits receptors in the brain and, in turn, dulls our pain.
  So according to my brain... I did love my uncle, even if he was a bigoted, condescending, manipulative miser of a human. Our bodies have internal defenses to protect us from ourselves.  I was crying because my brain knew I needed to cry, even if I was not cognizant.

Growing old is mandatory;

 growing up is optional...

and when you take a trip to Disney World...

EVERYBODY is five years old.

Disclaimer: RL blathering mixed with SL
and some RL photos

The reason for the break in daily photos was our vacation to Walt Disney World.  For me, it has always been a magical place.  I was five the first time my family visited the Magic Kingdom. I could not tell you the number of times I've enjoyed going to Walt Disney World. It might be close to twenty. Really, honest...  I live in Florida and if someone visits they want to go to Mickey's World.  I'm not complaining.  I love going.  I love watching others become infected with the magic.  So, you might be wondering... what makes this trip so special?   It's the little ones that we took.  Our little girls ARE our little princesses and sometimes pirates.[Arrrrrrrr]  We fought off good intended grandparents for almost seven years.  They kept hounding us to let them take their granddaughters.  We had decided when our first child was conceived that we would wait until we didn't have to worry about diapers for the first trip. Fantastic plan but difficult to uphold.  It was the longest period of time for me to not visit.  The excitement and thrill increased the closer Merrick and I came to Orlando.  Our daughters had no concept of what they were about to experience.  We joked that their heads were going to explode with the overload.  Waves of squealing and jumping up in down commenced as the main gate approached. [wicked grin...Merrick included] I promise this will not be an exact recount of our adventures. I just needed to express the joy. This was the best vacation....by far to Disney World that I've EVER had, nothing marred it in any way.

Mermaid Anya and Princess Dagny

We returned home and it was full steam ahead....  Holiday celebrations to prepare for, school winter break for our girls and all the other daily chores.  Study time for Merrick... with a few breaks. 

These weeks have flown by too quickly.  Most important, everything worked out well...  Merrick graduated.... yay!!!!!

Unfortunately all the activity and stress took a toll... all the females in our house have been under the weather since the winter break began from school.  We are only starting to see the end of Doctor visits, mountains of tissues and medicines with the start of the new year.  AND I only have six weeks remaining before I tackle a marathon.  [mumbles what did I get myself into?]   

Oh yeah...ummm I feel some guilt in not posting pictures since... NOVEMBER 14th! Will I ever keep to a challenge??? 

Maybe...

  I'll just pick up where I left off and justify the blip-snag-gaff and missing posts by my own logic.  I stopped for a little bit cause I NEEDED/WANTED to stop. There is only so much time everyday to do everything.

For the new year, I resolve to not let time slip through my fingers and be wasted.  I hope you make the most of everyday.  This song by ABBA is one that I had forgotten. Thank you Merrick for bringing it home to me,  for me it speaks volumes.   

Bon Voyage

I've struggled with the recent departure of a friend from SL. Then I came across an advertisement for traveling to Africa, in a copy of National Geographic. This is a quote that really stood out to me.

“Elephants have greeting ceremonies for friends returning from voyages. Secretly, I hoped that when I come back, they’ll remember me as much as I’ll remember them.”

I related to this quote for a few reasons.

1. A trip to Africa is on my "Bucket list" so this grabbed my attention.
2. Traveling in both realities is extremely important to me. [We would share LM's.]
3. The last conversation I had with my friend was about my most recent trip to the local Zoo. [Sadly, he's never been to a Zoo.]
   
4. In order to deal with the loss of this friend, I'm going to think of him as being on a voyage. A very "good" voyage.

So in the interest of open admission, I'll admit I'm totally plagiarizing these words for expressing my feelings...

Elephants have greeting ceremonies for friends and family returning from voyages. Secretly, I hope that when my friend comes back, he’ll remember me as much as I’ll remember him.

Shush, this is my delusion ... that my friend will return. Even after Pandora opens the Jar releasing all the evils of mankind, inside the Jar remained one thing... Hope.

My friends are family, and family stays with you always ... even when you are apart.

Memories of you

I find that all my memories are entwined
with
not just a picture in my mind
but
all the senses combined.

~ Elora Henig

Of course, the traditional five senses we learn about in grade school are sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste. Surprisingly there are more senses, according to academic studies, but that's another post, maybe.
For me, all five senses overlap in importance depending upon the circumstance. Some memories are triggered by a smell; salt marsh, a taste; french fries with malt vinegar, a touch; sand between your toes, each important on it's own or can combine to form a particular picture.

[Daydreams for a moment]

Ahhhhh, The aroma of a fresh cut lawn and wet earth are a couple of my favorite smells. Focus...Elora focus. [makes note of future post ideas]
Excuse me, my mind is just a mess of wires crisscrossing and they tend to get jumbled up often. For me, I believe, music plays a strong role in evoking powerful emotional flashbacks.
Alright then music... the song that sparked this post is from [plays fanfare] Yellowcard, One Year, Six Months. Although I've not been in SL that long, only one year and almost five months, it's close enough.






(portion of the lyrics)


I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget


<-------one year, four months

one year ago

It's a lovely song. Listen, if you have a moment.