Tears of sorrow

  I've not posted for a long time and I've been absent from SL. I hope to change both of those things. My apologies to those who feel neglected.  I've missed my friends and exploring.
Don't read past the picture, if it bothers you to read things that don't pertain to SL.

  Last week, I learned of my uncle's death.  My tears started before the phone call ended. I had to know... Why was I crying for a person that was a source of frustration, pain, anguish in my life?  Oh, the stories I could tell...  But I won't dwell on those right now.  I can simply say I was curious about him at first. Eventually, over the years of exposure, my thoughts changed to disdain for this man, which turned to pity and sometimes compassion within our long time of knowing each other.  This tumultuous relationship of ours is significant to who I am today. I believe, the people who are in our lives leave marks into our soul.  The experiences both good and bad alter the thought process and reactions we have.
  After some research, I found that ... Scientists studying tears of emotion have detected a chemical that cannot be found in tears from irritants - it seems that simply by weeping we produce tiny amounts of a natural painkiller [leucine enkephalinthat hits receptors in the brain and, in turn, dulls our pain.
  So according to my brain... I did love my uncle, even if he was a bigoted, condescending, manipulative miser of a human. Our bodies have internal defenses to protect us from ourselves.  I was crying because my brain knew I needed to cry, even if I was not cognizant.

Reality Television

I said I wanted to be ON T.V. NOT IN.
365 days: 15

Be responsible...

for your own happiness.
[smiles] ok get your mind out of the gutter, or is that just me?
I was thinking of an episode of "The Big Bang Theory" (something Leonard's Mom said ... LOL)

  What I'm referring to has nothing to do with a type of gratification that can be a duel effort.  I feel a compulsion to write out my frustration.  It bothers me to see, hear or to read of someone blaming others for their unhappiness.

Monkeys: Quaintly, Elora and Wry
    For example,  I'm trying to teach my daughter Dagny to overcome this....I'll ask, "why are you feeling so angry?"  She'll respond with her jaw clenched and fists held tight against her thighs, "Anya is ALWAYS getting into my stuff, touching my stuff doing things to my stuff. Anya is ALWAYS making me angry! SHE is so annoying, she makes me..." I stop her at that point.
"Whoa... whoa... slow down..." I try to explain, "YOU can only control you.  Everyone has the power... immense power to take control of HOW you react to the things that happen around you. YOU can not make/control someone elses actions." In response to what I'm trying to explain to her, she exhales loudly and groans a little.  Welcome to parenthood.

  I am by no means an expert on this process,  I have to remind myself of this often.  Yet, when you do it's splendiferousness... there is nothing that can hold you back from enjoying life.

[reads what I just wrote and laughs...  I sound like some sort of "self help" article.]  

His Closet

I raided it.

365 days: 13

Drifting Through Time

As I drift along I wonder...

Do I have control over time...

Or does IT control me? 
Thank you Bon

365days: 12 [yeah I'm going to try again]

Growing old is mandatory;

 growing up is optional...
and when you take a trip to Disney World...
EVERYBODY is five years old.
Disclaimer: RL blathering mixed with SL
and some RL photos

The reason for the break in daily photos was our vacation to Walt Disney World.  For me, it has always been a magical place.  I was five the first time my family visited the Magic Kingdom. I could not tell you the number of times I've enjoyed going to Walt Disney World. It might be close to twenty. Really, honest...  I live in Florida and if someone visits they want to go to Mickey's World.  I'm not complaining.  I love going.  I love watching others become infected with the magic.  So, you might be wondering... what makes this trip so special?   It's the little ones that we took.  Our little girls ARE our little princesses and sometimes pirates.[Arrrrrrrr]  We fought off good intended grandparents for almost seven years.  They kept hounding us to let them take their granddaughters.  We had decided when our first child was conceived that we would wait until we didn't have to worry about diapers for the first trip. Fantastic plan but difficult to uphold.  It was the longest period of time for me to not visit.  The excitement and thrill increased the closer Merrick and I came to Orlando.  Our daughters had no concept of what they were about to experience.  We joked that their heads were going to explode with the overload.  Waves of squealing and jumping up in down commenced as the main gate approached. [wicked grin...Merrick included] I promise this will not be an exact recount of our adventures. I just needed to express the joy. This was the best vacation....by far to Disney World that I've EVER had, nothing marred it in any way.
Mermaid Anya and Princess Dagny

We returned home and it was full steam ahead....  Holiday celebrations to prepare for, school winter break for our girls and all the other daily chores.  Study time for Merrick... with a few breaks. 

These weeks have flown by too quickly.  Most important, everything worked out well...  Merrick graduated.... yay!!!!!

Unfortunately all the activity and stress took a toll... all the females in our house have been under the weather since the winter break began from school.  We are only starting to see the end of Doctor visits, mountains of tissues and medicines with the start of the new year.  AND I only have six weeks remaining before I tackle a marathon.  [mumbles what did I get myself into?]   

Oh yeah...ummm I feel some guilt in not posting pictures since... NOVEMBER 14th! Will I ever keep to a challenge??? 

  I'll just pick up where I left off and justify the blip-snag-gaff and missing posts by my own logic.  I stopped for a little bit cause I NEEDED/WANTED to stop. There is only so much time everyday to do everything.

For the new year, I resolve to not let time slip through my fingers and be wasted.  I hope you make the most of everyday.  This song by ABBA is one that I had forgotten. Thank you Merrick for bringing it home to me,  for me it speaks volumes.   

365days: 11 of 365 Pictoral Reminiscence

"Her mind seemed wholly taken up with reminiscences of past gaiety" (Charlotte Brontë).

Krissy posted some photos from her archives. It's an excellent idea worth copying. The next few entries will be a look back, starting with this lovely photo.  This is my avatar, first day in SL. [state the obvious... jeez]  I was very proud of the skin I manipulated and all the details I put into her... then I was booted out... crashed... confused and unsure of myself. I thought I did something wrong.  When I could NOT log back into SL I was certain I messed up. I was so naive.  Lucky for me, I knew someone in SL. Merrick helped me get back in and introduced me to people who could change my look. [de-NOOB] 
This is the result. I loved the red hair and new skin. The photo was taken at "The Lost Gardens of Apollo". I was 9 days old.

Look at that Facelight!


About Me

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Extremely shy in large social settings but love to make friends, to explore and go on adventures, wicked sense of humor (once I feel comfortable), and a bit of a social-chameleon (so I've been told)